


Johnny's jimjams and sherly tea

by Stranger_Danger420



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Childish Sherlock Holmes, Crack, Domestic Fluff, Jim Moriarty is a Little Shit, M/M, Rating May Change, Sexual Humor, Tags May Change, Tired John
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-11
Updated: 2020-04-11
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:41:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,073
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23594005
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stranger_Danger420/pseuds/Stranger_Danger420
Summary: Jim decided to live with the mystery-solving duo, what could go wrong?
Relationships: James Moriarty/John Watson, Jim Moriarty/John Watson, Sherlock Holmes & Jim Moriarty, Sherlock Holmes/John Watson
Comments: 4
Kudos: 89





	1. Moving in

Seeing the consulting criminal didn't even surprise him. In fact seeing Sherlock and Jim drinking tea in the living room didn't faze him even one bit.

"Hello, Johnny." 

And quite frankly, he was too tired to deal with this bullshit. He had come back from a continuous shift in the hospital, added to that, Sherlock has been dragging him around too much. 

John stared at the two men for awhile, while the both of them smiled awkwardly. Jim was the first to speak,

"It's been awfully boring these days, I decided to come and visit." 

John knew he had to get his gun right now and point it towards Jim, but he was just too fucking tired right now. All he could think of was his bed. Considering that Sherlock let him in (maybe, he just assumed), they were probably up to something? He really can't think right now. 

The two men started to get nervous of the way John stared at them, with his disheveled look and eyebags. Sherlock knew in an instant that he really needed to get some sleep.

"John, go to bed." 

John can't even process what Sherlock was saying. He was already on the verge of passing out. With his wobbly legs, he heads for his room. But inevitably, passes out and is caught by someone's arms.

~~~

John wakes up, feeling someone stroking his hair. He slowly opens his eyes to see that he's in the living room, on the couch. With Sherlock sitting on the chair in front of them. Them? Wait, what? He realizes his laying down on someone's lap and that someone is James Moriarty.

"Morning, Johnny." 

He immediately sits up, and a headache hits him. He adjusts for awhile and pinches his nosebridge.

"What the actual fuck." 

"You've been out for 12 hours, John." Sherlock says as he sips his tea. 

"What time is it?"

"It's 9 in the morning." 

John looks at the person beside him, Jim. 

"Why was I sleeping on him?" 

"Well, Johnny, I couldn't help it. Last night you passed out and I caught you. Plus, it's like stroking a pet, except its a human. If you want to sleep more, I am still offering myself." He winked.

"Oh my fucking god, what is happening to the world right now." 

John stood up, took a shower, changed his clothes, and came back to the living room. 

"Okay, so can somebody explain why you're here (pointing at Moriarty), with a new television and why you're playing video games with Sherlock."

"We're bored." The both of them said simultaneously.

And this is where the chaos begins.


	2. Chapter 2

John, Sherlock, and Jim had to go to work. In the mornings, they would do their own things, Sherlock would work on a case, John had to go to the hospital and Jim... would do his usual crime. 

However, these two boys wanted to be taken care of and John had no idea how the fuck they were able to make the place a mess and look like actual children. He came home once to find the house wet and burnt. How was that even possible? Plus, these boys were always looking for John, asking if there was food, about trivial things like shampoo, if they could get McDonalds, all that stuff. 

John was there on his day-off, sitting in his favourite chair, sipping a cup of tea while listening to the two ADULT GROWN MEN arguing over who was John's favourite. He didn't even bother anymore, he knew they wouldn't stop. 

"I'VE BEEN WITH HIM LONGER THAN YOU JIM"

"ALL YOU DO IS DRAG HIM AROUND THOUGH"

"YOU LITERALLY STRAPPED A BOMB ON HIM"

"IT DOESN'T MATTER IF I STRAP A BOMB OR NOT, I WASH THE DISHES"

"WHAT"

"I ALSO HELP ON DOING THE LAUNDRY"

"OH YOU'RE SO GOOD NOW THAT YOU'RE DOING HOUSEHOLD CHORES EH"

"THATS WHY IM JOHNNY'S FAVOURITE"

"NO YOU'RE NOT"

Ah, it's a wonderful day today, John thought. It's his day-off, a day where he can relax. The sun is shining, the birds are singing, and all he can hear is a bunch of useless banter. John closed his eyes.

"Why don't we just take it outside, huh?" Sherlock offered.

"No guns, only fists." Jim nodded.

"Hmmmm..." John opened his eyes again, ah, he needed this argument to stop before things get too far. People might get harmed. Then, bingo! The perfect silly idea came into mind. The two boys looked at him.

Mrs. Hudson came to complain about the noise, "Stop arguing on who's John's favourite. Just ask him, dears. I hope it is in your best interest not to make more noise as I am trying to sleep. Okay?" She gave them that scary stare and went back downstairs.

The two boys nodded in agreement and stared back at John, waiting for his answer. John chuckled.

"I'll have you know,"

John was practically laughing out loud in his mind. This was going to be a good day, he felt his mood rise.

"My favourite is..."

The two boys gulped in anticipation, they were just like two brothers fighting for mum's love. John was just imagining what these men would do, would they storm to the government? 

"Mycroft."

The rest was history, and _Mycroft didn't like it one bit._


	3. Chapter 3

"WHAT THE FUCK!"

John immediately drops what he was holding and it bounces on the ground. He was so drunk yesterday and he can't remember what happened and now he's on the floor holding this?

"John, I prefer you not to shout so early in the morning."

"What's got you so worked up Johnny?"

"HOW AND WHY IN THE BLOODY FUCKING HELL AM I HOLDING A NINE INCH FUCKING DILDO"

"..."

"Johnny, you actually..."

"You brought it home John. YOU BROUGHT IT HOME."

"What?" 

This is not happening. John just remembered having drinks with his old mates and came home and drank some more with Sherlock and Jim.

"You told us this is the size you prefered, John. You like it big, John."

"Sherlock's actually right. You waved it around last night."

John paled at that. Then his whole face turned hot red. The most embarrasing thing he's ever done.

The two boys were snickering inside their heads.

'Oh John, you're face is so precious.'  
'Johnny's so cute.'

'Too bad we're lying' the two thought together.

"Now john, wont you want to use it?" Sherlock said and Jim winked at him.


End file.
